ONE of our Adoption Stories

I promised I wouldn’t look any more at the Adoption Website after the last adoption, but I did. We had done an international adoption, and we adopted our daughter, who we had since she was a 3 day old baby, but we hadn’t adopted children who were featured on the website. There were two of the saddest, loneliest faces. Twin boys. But maybe they were too young for us? We thought and thought and prayed and prayed and decided we HAD to enquire. If we were told NO, then so be it.

Meeting the adoption worker was great. We were really apprehensive at first but she was awesome, and we loved her straight away. She listened to our hopes and concerns and was with us every step of the way.

We loved the “process” of integrating the kids into our home. First, we read all the information on the twins. We were asked if we were ok so far, and even though we felt apprehensive we were pretty sure that was normal - we hoped! We decided to go to the next stage – meeting the twins.

We visited the boys in the foster home every day for about 8 days. On our first meeting I was more nervous than going to the dentist! I kept telling myself, “This is stupid. They are 3 1/2 yr olds!!” When we walked in they hid. They were very quiet, nervous kids. I was a bit shocked. I don’t know what I expected but not that. We were introduced as Mommy and Daddy. They didn’t want to even sit with “Mommy”. I could have cried. Then they were asked, “What about Daddy, do you want to sit with him?” Well, Daniel was on his knee in a flash. Daddy played with Daniel and Alex came round and played too. I thought, “They hate me!” Then Alex came up to me and pulled my arm to bend down, so he could whisper to me. ”Yes?” I said. “You are my Mommy,” he whispered. The lump in my throat was a big as a baseball! But I couldn’t cry, or I’d scare the kids!! We had a short visit and left.

Next day we went again and it was priceless. The foster mom took us on to the deck where the twins were playing with the other foster kids. I walked out first as she said “Hey, look who’s here guys!” and they looked up and said in rather a flat note “Oh, its Mommy,” and continued to play. Then Daddy walked out onto the deck. My goodness what a reaction! “Hey, look,” they called with squeals of delight. “Look, this is OUR DADDY,” they yelled, jumping up and down, showing him off to the other kids. It was certainly a turning moment for us both. Malcolm and I were both choked up. We knew then that these were our kids. They were meant to be with our family!

The visiting week went great, and the worker was brilliant, assisting us in any way we needed her. The twins moved home, and our other kids loved them immediately.

Going for this third adoption we were a little worried and hesitant at times. We are only human, right? What if the kids don’t like us? What if we don’t like them? All the normal questions go running through your minds. Then you get friends saying “ANOTHER adoption?? You must be mad! Why would you do this?? You already have 6 kids!!” Over the years we have now perfected our answer to those that enquire of us, “Why would you?” We say, “Why wouldn’t you?”

Now we find ourselves a year down the line since those first days. As I look back, in the beginning it wasn’t without the odd tantrum and squealing session. But they finally got the message that we don’t do that in this family! Today they are the happiest, smiliest kids you could wish for. They are learning new things every day and doing great at school. They laugh so hard (they belly laugh!) they make us all laugh. They do normal boy stuff. They are a joy to be around. Strangers say how great all my kids are - and I know it’s true! We have had such a positive experience with adoption we are doing it again! One last time before they tell us we are too old!

All the kids out there want is to belong, to have a mom and dad, a home, and their own bed. They don’t ask for riches, just unconditional love. If I were to die tomorrow and I was asked what my best accomplishments were on this earth, I’d say marrying my husband, having my kids and adopting my four little kids (and any others they will let me have).

The joy our family gets from watching their faces as they come running to the door when Daddy gets in from work to show him they got new pajamas or new shoes today is priceless. The excitement as we go out on vacation or to a movie makes your heart swell. Small acts of kindness to our kids reap huge rewards.

Malcolm and I would encourage anyone to adopt. Asked one time about how we could love an adopted child the same as one you gave birth to, our answer was “there is honestly no difference”. Your birth children grow in your tummy, your adopted children grow in your heart. We are truly blessed that these children were guided to our family and we hope we can have a few more!

Yvonne and Malcolm
Mike, Ethan, McKayla, Alex and Daniel